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| Love Hate and Misery |
| 09.04.05 (12:27 am) [edit] |
i just broke up with my girl today. It kinda hurts since i still love her. but i just cant deal with all the paranoia! i know i did some things in the past that i shouldnt have done, things that hurt her, but ever since the day i told her i have been loyal to her. there isnt a week that she doesnt bring up my past mistakes. it got worse when i started working again. Whenever i meet a girl at work she will start this fight about me wanting to leave her for someone new.
I dont know what to do anymore, i love her, but she's bringing me closer and closer to the edge of insanit with all that she is doing. i feel like im turning into the monster she claims i am and that scares me the most. Im scared the when the im pushed off the edge i might become the person i hate, the person she alwas compares me to. The only thing i have ever wished was for me to be everything she wants me to be. i tried to be this person but she never saw the effort i that i was giving. all she could see was the mistakes i have done in the past. i know she loves me too. but she just makes it hard for me to become what she want when every day she reminds me of the past.
i dont know what to do anmore, i feel so helpless. however much i want us to be together i just cant stand it when she accuses me of thing that i didnt do. Fuck!!! i hate my life right now.
i feel so empty right now. i just broken-up with someone whom i still love. i dont think i ever felt this way before. i love her but what shes doing is killing me slowly.
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| Darkness Sublime |
| 06.13.04 (12:45 am) [edit] |
Too Bored!!!
I have too much time on my hands!
Its a good thing that ill be starting work on friday. im starting to see that i have too much time on my hands right now that, i have time to write poetry. it would have been ok if it was good but... anyway here one check it out.
Darkness Sublime
The darkness brings forth a sublime kind of beauty.
Rivaled only by the vastness of space
A place where everything is magnificent and stunning
Where truth and beauty gives life new grace.
Shadows playing in the darkest night
Give rise to pleasures within my heart
Within it there is no present, future nor past
My love for it shall never pass
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| Nap Nap Nap... And Some Lovin then... Nap Nap Nap. |
| 06.13.04 (12:08 am) [edit] |
I got back from mass a few hours ago. (Right now though i just woke up from another nap, im currently eating ice cream while checking my mail and typing this.) As we got back we ate lunch then went back to my room. Anyway we were resting on my bed we talked about what happened to each other’s week. We weren’t able to see each other for a whole week since I was hunting for a job (she being the one who told me to get a job). After a few minutes I realized that she was already snoring softly with her head on my arm (hehehe, I “had” to add “softly”.) :D Anyway I though I might as well get some more sleep since my days of being an bum is over and I might as well get the last nap ill ever have in the months to come.
(Isn’t it great to have a beautiful woman that you love in your arms while you are asleep? Just being able to smell her hair without her noticing it. Well I always thought so; anyway I think there’s some ice cream left in the fridge, Anne would probably kill me if I don’t get her some... After all she is the one who paid for it.) :D
(Hon, if you read this don’t kill me, im pretty sure I was dreaming when I heard you snore.) ;)
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| My breakfast, my new job and a nap! |
| 06.12.04 (4:29 pm) [edit] |
I just woke up an hour ago. Today’s Sunday here in the Philippines, and in 4 hour im gonna be heading of to church with Anne and my cousins. Well i just finished cooking and eating my breakfast, in case you are curious i ate a few slices of bacon, eggs, a couple of hotdogs and of course a Filipino breakfast wouldn’t be complete without fried rice.
Well I just want to say im quite excited about my new job. Did I mention I have a new job? I think I mentioned it somewhere in the last article I wrote. Anyway I went to the orientation the other day, I think it was Friday, anyway when I was at the orientation, my confidence was given a huge boost when I found out that out of 48 people there, only three of us were interviewed from this month (btw I was interviewed 5 days ago). Yes some of them had to wait for 2-3 months before they were called; there was one guy who was waiting since November last year.
Anyway I think this is the best job for me. One of the best things about my new job is that it has a very convenient location, it only take me 10 minutes to get to my office. Not only is it great because it is near my house, it also has a mall, a few restaurants and a lot of clubs!! Here’s a description of the place I found on their site in the Internet:
“Eastwood City is an example of meticulous satellite city planning where residential condominiums are perfectly surrounded by modern everyday conveniences such as specialty stores, a supermarket, a health and fitness gym, international business schools and corporate offices.”
I just hope I do well there. Hmm… I think I’ll take a nap before church. I’ll be back later.
(I might have written the past article in my other blog, so if you don’t see anything about my new work here its probably in one of my other blogs.)
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| Personality Thing! :) |
| 06.09.04 (7:01 am) [edit] |
I keep seeing these things all over the place. i thought i might as well get one. :P
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| Untitled |
| 06.09.04 (5:59 am) [edit] |
You punish yourself with cuts so deep
For sins that no one else could see
So easily you give up your dreams
Believing it’s not yours to keep
My hearts bleeds deep when I see your face
With tears coming down with endless grace
The sorrow and pain showing in your eyes
Has left my heart bare and undisguised
I yearn to hold your hands in mine
To keep you safe till the end of time
But you’ve kept your heart away from love
Afraid of the hurt that it could become
I plead to you my case so true
Let me be the one to share this load for you
And show you what true love can give
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| Someone Always Gets Hurt. |
| 06.09.04 (5:30 am) [edit] |
Though I am a great believer in the golden rule. There are times in a person’s life when one has to take advantage of others. For one reason or another, there are points in a person’s life that there is very little choice, where one as to choose between achieving ones goals or letting go of the opportunity. I guess it all comes down to two things, is it more important for me to achieve my goals right now, or is the person I have a relationship with more important to me.
In our life we create relationships for a purpose, it can be for friendship, companionship, love, sex or money and power etc. Most of the time our intentions are benign, but sometimes the need for more power and money gets the better of us. There are also times when we “have to” choose between two evils, here we can make two choices, its either we take the lesser of the two evils or the choice where we gain the most.
I myself love power, I have a strong need for it, a desire to be better and than others. Sometimes this can be overwhelming, because of this I found one should find something that is more important to him than power. Family, friends or a girlfriend/boyfriend, with these things our needs are tempered by the feelings we hold towards the people we care for.
However much we try to do what’s right, there will always someone who will disagree with our actions. Maybe they disagree with it because they weren’t able to think it up themselves or maybe they will lose a hold on something or someone. One has to realize that someone will always be affected by our actions, and that even if we have good intent someone always ends up losing. We may not know them or even care, but if we try to remember this we will be able to choose who it is that will get affected. Always think things through, consider all possibilities before doing anything. When you do this, there will be less chance of hurting someone you care for.
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| What Is Thought? |
| 06.08.04 (2:06 pm) [edit] |
have any of you wondered what thoughts are? i mean, are the just a bunch of electrical impulses in our brain? And what happens after we had a thought? does it go somewhere else? this may sound stupid but, sometimes its really irritating when i suddenly think of something then it disappears like smoke a second after. This is a question that hold real importance to me, because thought is what makes us different from other biengs in our world. can anyone explain the awareness of self and environment which destinguishes life from inorganic matter?
We have used our intelligence for many practical purposes. Some of which helped us have a better understanding of ourselves and nature around us. Yet we have used it for something else as well. We created worlds of wonder and horror, and within these worlds we put creatures such as unicorns, dragons, gods, demons, knights and wizards. worlds where light and darkness fight a never-ending struggle against each other piting each sides champoins on the battlefield. And yet we have also created other mythical creatures who are neither dark or fearsome, these are simply a pleasant product of our imagination- Santa Claus, Jack Frost and even the easter bunny =). not only did we create these things intellectually, we also believed in them in varying degree. these days we talk of little of these things of the dark. yet there is still an inbred fear of what lurks in the dark, the unknown and the unseeable. People think it is childish to think of warewolves and ghouls, but it is all right to believe in a technical wraith such as flying saucers( or at least more than vampires and warewolves).
we think of thought as a mental process electrical impulses traveling around our brain. but we know no more about the thought process, maybe even essn than the ancient greeks about the atom. we talk today of thought today as the ancient greeks in the time of democritus may have talked(sparingly and without too much conviction or belief) about the atom, and with as little understanding. we are in short just mouthing words without really having any understanding.
we do know something of the result of thought. all that mankind is today is the product of our thinking. but this is the result of the impact of the thought upon the human animal, as steam makes an impact upon a mechanism and makes an engine run.
so now we might ask, once the steam has made its impact and performed its funtion what happens to it? i think its just as logical to ask what happens to thought once it has made its impact. does it change to another form like energy, or does it drift off into space to fall upon another person to recieve it =). What happens to though once it has done its job. where does it go, what does it do, do the thoughts of people long dead still exist? hmm... simple questions are the hardest to answer arent they. =)
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| Why I Write. :D |
| 06.08.04 (1:54 pm) [edit] |
The reason for this blog. :P
I remember when I was a kid I had this thing about reading books. I thought that anything without any visual representations was a bore to read. I then felt that reading a book of any kind as a chore that I’d rather not do.
The funny thing about it is that these days I have collected about 500 books or so. In the beginning I was only interested with Fantasy books such as the series known as “Xanth Series” (Author: Piers Anthony). After a while though I started collecting other genres like science fiction, horror and Spy thrillers.
Most of my books though are of fantasy, books about dragons, mages, knights and gods. After reading most of my books three or four times already (some of my favorites I have read more than ten times since I bought It that I had to buy a new copy since all the pages were worn down because of my rereading it), though some of them I’ve only read once.
These days though I’ve started collecting books which are collections of short essays on philosophy and life in general. I’ve started reading some essays by Emerson and as well as those of Bacon. It was very interesting to see just how much the English language has changed in a couple hundred years. I also saw the subtle poetry of writing. In reading those authors essays I realized how beautiful words are.
Because of this realization I found myself writing about everything that I was interested in. Another reason I write is probably because I am a bit narcissistic. I love the idea that I can change another person’s views simply because of something I wrote. In writing I want to leave a small mark in people who I have never met personally, and yet know a part of me, of my mind because they have read something that I have created.
I know that there are more reasons why I have take up writing but these are the most important one to me. Anyway why did you guys start your blogs? Is it because of the same reasons or are your reasons entirely different from mine? Feel free to comment i would love to hear your opinions.
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| Beauty in the Darkness. |
| 06.07.04 (6:50 am) [edit] |
Finding beauty in an empty world.
Have you ever felt humbled whenever you are surrounded by total darkness? In the dark I have the chance to see something that will always exist, something as infinite and as eternal as time itself. Within the darkness I find myself at one with everything else, a place where I can find peace of mind from all my daily troubles
It was a place of solace for me, a place where nothing and no one could ever disturb or startle me. Within the darkness I found it easy to order my thoughts, a place where I can find the peace that was lacking in the day. After a while whenever I had a problem I would only need to spend a few minutes or so in the dark to find a solution. Within it I saw that anything was possible. Even today after reading a book I sometimes find myself going through within in the dark of my mind.
In the darkness I became anything I wanted to be, went to places I could only dream of even places that never existed at all. In short it became my unending canvas where I can paint cities of intense beauty, where knights fights gallantly against evil sorcerers who wields powers beyond measure. I created gods and demons that would vie for control over a mortal’s soul. In it i found a place where my imagination has free reign over everything.
These days whenever I feel the urge to write I usually try to find a dark place where I can work by myself. At times I find myself in the mountain simply because it is one of the most serene places near my home. At times I go the just so I can listen to the sounds that exists only in the night. In its own way I always found that mountain magical whenever the darkness settles, surrounding everything making everything disappear with its touch. As the night consumes every single cell in my body, I start to feel more alive, ready to face the new day that is ahead. With that feeling I start to write with the knowledge that tomorrow bring new chances, new experiences that would teach me more about my role in this world where I found myself living in.
Most people find the dark to be a terrifying place to be. Though this is understandable since the fear of the unknown is one of the greatest fears a person can feel, and what is more unknowable than what is hidden in the dark. Our imagination gives life to ghosts and goblins that have haunted the night ever since humans became obsessed with the dark. Within the darkness lies an intense beauty where all our dreams and nightmares reside.
Whenever I sense a need to be alone, to compose myself and to relax I need only to go out into the night to leave my worries in the light. Yes the dark could be a terrifying place but given a chance you will find it too has the same beauty that one can find in the vastness of space. Within it lies an endless beauty that no one else can spoil.
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| Dawning of Hope. |
| 06.06.04 (7:00 pm) [edit] |
It’s that never-ending cycle that we go
Through... no matter how much depressed or numb
You feel through the darkness... it never fails to
Happen. Light seeps into every nook and cranny of
That dreary world that had made its home in all of
Us... warms us and gives enough hope for the next
Bout of darkness and light.
Sometimes the darkness take longer than the
Light but despite that... what we feel at the
Arrival of the warm light is so lasting sometimes
That even in the darkness... one feels that they
Are still bathed in light. It sustains us and
Uplifts.
It is during these times that we step into the
Light. It doesn’t have to have a physical
Manifestation... maybe its the mindset one
Acquires or the belief in one greater than all of
Us... whether living our lives to the fullest or
Living to survive... we step into the light that
We start to have hope and renewal. There is indeed
A reprieve in all these sufferings we endure. We
Grow and get stronger in each passing trial that
Beset us. That prepares us for an inevitable end...
Whatever end it may be... light has us after all
That almost never ending toil in the darkness that
We finally step into the light.
Hmmm maybe it’s something to hope for...
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| Ravaged Soul... |
| 06.06.04 (12:14 pm) [edit] |
This is my first venture into poetry. I hope you guys like it.
Ravaged Soul
I live in a world of misery,
And caged by my own desires.
I’ve gone on ahead to my paradise
Of which I now despise.
All my goals have turned to ashes
And all the ashes into dust
But I’ll struggle on to find new dreams,
In this world of empty scenes
Till death devours me and I am cold
My life would be for myself alone.
I’ll join the anger and all the strife
This world will be my playground,
My pleasure, my delight…
Poetry from me!?!?! Pretty hard to believe huh. :D
Copyright ©2004 Edmundo Falgui Ω
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| Five Great Lessons Everyone Should Learn |
| 04.04.04 (1:21 am) [edit] |
There is hope yet for the human race.
I Always Believed that We Humans would bring about our own destruction. there are so many things in this world that makes me think how we even survived as long as we have. We have wars, racism , children dying of hunger when just a few bloack away people eats three square meals a day,Wepons that could destroy our own planet in an instant, priests that sexually abuses the children who trusts them and leaders who care about nothing more than to make themselves more powerful, instead of serving the people in their nation. Yet after reading this article i felt that if people are able to learn from these examples maybe we can turn things around and make this world a better place for ourselves and the children we have or hope to have.
Edmund
1 - Most Important Lesson During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely, this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello' ." "I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2 - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain One night, at 11:30 PM, an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance, and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others." Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson -Always remember those who serve In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now, more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table, and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies - You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson - The Obstacle in Our Path In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving when it counts Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?" Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her. You see, after all, understanding and attitude are everything. =)
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| Things to do before i die |
| 04.04.04 (1:05 am) [edit] |
Things that i would like to happen in my life before i die
By Edmund Falgui
Everyone has a plan for their life, an outline if you will. Well this is a short list of things that i would like to do before i die.
1. Buy a house of my own
2. Have a big backyard
3. Find someone i can live with for the rest of my life
4. Have three children (2 boys and a girl)
5. being true to the one that i fall in love with.
6. Fly a Plane
7. Live as another person for one whole year.(using an alias)
8. Cliff dive (done)
9. Pick a fight in a bar and win(done)
10. Go on a Cruise in the Medd
11. Learn how to snowboard
12. Memorize all the positions in the kama sutra =)
13. Live in japan for a year
14. Live in france for a year
15. Go on a Safari in Africa
16. Own a 140 ft yatch
17. Earn $130,000 a month
18. Win the lottery
19. Sky dive
20. Have a beachhouse
21. Scuba diving (done)
22. fall in love (done)
23. Lose 30 pounds =)
24. Cut classes to go out of town (done)
25. Get drunk then go to class without the teacher knowing (done)
26. Swim with Dolphins (done)
27. swim with sharks (done)
28. Lie to get laid (done)
29. Get some girl to pay you after sex
30. total a car all by myself but live to tell the tale
31. get all the books written by my favorite authors
32. learn how to play the piano or the guitar
33. Bite a live shark, then swim for the godamn boat Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! =)
34. Save someones life
35. live for a month with only 20 dollars
36. live for a day with 1 million dollars
37. spend a whole day doing nothing (done)
38. write a novel of my own (done partway)
39. buy a porsche
40. to be happy
41. for my family to be happy
42. buy a ranch somewhere and raise horses (arabian spanish halfbreed)
43. buy an authentic katana sword from japan
44. ride a plane (done)
45. learn to cook paella and other hard to cook recipes (done)
46. learn 100 ways to cook spam
47. go to the south pole
48. live in bali for a year
49. go to a city where even cabdrivers knows your name (done)
50. hike through the amazon
51. disappear for a year without telling anyone
52. swim naked (done)
53. hike up a mountain (done)
54. See the Full Moon Rise Over Every Continent
55. speak spanish
56. speak french
57. speak japanese
58. witness wildebeest migration
59. learn thai cuisine Royal Thai School of Culinary Arts
60. see the aurora borealis
61. work on an archeological dig
62. walk barefoot for a month.
63. join dakar
64. spelunk (done)
65. Surf
66. scuba dive in the great barrier reef
67. Make love on a forest floor
68. make love on a train and plane
69. Raft through the Grand Canyon
70. Look into my child's eyes, see myself, and smile
71. Visit the Great Wall of China
72. go to Rio's Carneval
73. Go whale watching(done)
74. Ride a gondola in Venice with my love
75. Be on TV (done)
76. Learn to fire a hand gun(done)
77. go hot air ballooning
78. become a well known philosopher =)
79. Double the books i have. (currently have 520)
80. Never be lonely again
81. Jam onstage with Nirvana, Elvis or Parokya ni Edgar
82. Master karate, judo, aikido, wudan and arnis
83. Write a really good poem
84. discover a cave and name it for the one i love
85. die saving someone
86. Make someone become an alcoholic (done)
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| Spam and Eggs!!! |
| 04.03.04 (6:59 pm) [edit] |
7:26 am Sunday
Well this is our last day at the beach. We all got drunk yesterday evening drinking tequilla and beer, and when i say drunk i mean really drunk. Anne and Peaches were the only people who didnt get drunk as hell. Its a good thing i never get hangovers.
Anyway I woke up pretty early this morning to cook breakfast for all of us. i tried not to wake up Anne but it was no use since she was hugging me the whole time. It was perfect though since we were both awake before the sun came up we decided to wait for the sun to rise over the horizon.
(im typing this as im cooking spam and eggs for breakfast. anyway im just gonna paste this later when im online.)
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| Freedom: Effects of The Environment, Society and Our Desires |
| 04.03.04 (6:08 pm) [edit] |
Does Total Freedom Exist?
Have you ever asked yourself this question? If not, then you should ask yourself now. Because this is probably one of the questions that will shape what and who you will be.
But before going forward we first must know what freedom is and the difference between the freedom of nature and the freedom of a person.
There is genuine freedom in the world. When we observe it from the outside, it takes the form of unpredictability; when we observe it from within, we call it our free will. We know that the reason why our behavior is unpredictable from the outside is that we have ultimate freedom of choice. This freedom is the very essence of our personalities, the treasure of our lives. It is given us as the first element of the world we come into.
Since I am talking about freedom concerning humans, then it is free will that we will be talking about.
I believe there are three basic positions that one can adopt on the question of free will: either we have absolute free will, or we have no free will at all, or we have a certain measure of free will.
I myself believe that we can with proper constraints such as rules and laws etc. Without such constraints our society would be in total chaos. Another factor to consider is that freedom rests in the principal of respect for other people—that of which each and every human being is of equal value—irrespective of race, gender, religion, sexuality—or anything else.
This states that no person is an object to be used simply as a means to some other end. That is, all people have a basic degree of dignity that is denied when we use them merely as a tool for our own purpose.
Therefore we should not only protect our own freedom but those of other people as well. In helping other people gain freedom, we ourselves get a bit more freedom through our actions.
Nature too comes into the picture. For example, we cannot change the past, breathe under water, or fly like a bird. These constraints though are already so natural for us that we rarely pay any attention to them.
In addition to these physical/natural limitations, there are also psychological limitations on our freedom: our mental conditioning and our numerous habits and instincts play a major role in determining our actions.
I have to admit that I myself have lost control or succumbed to irresistible urges, to have been impelled by some unknown/unconscious motives and desires that I didn’t know I had. But I feel that most of the time we do freely choose our own actions, and that some of the impulses we have can be resisted if we put our minds to it.
As for destiny, I believe in self-made destinies. Fashioned by our desires, forged by our wills. Our lives are not governed by outside forces where we have not played a part in creating. But these outside forces do affect our lives. In the very end thought is in the choices that we make, whether we have mean and selfish or noble and altruistic, that gives meaning to this life of ours. Freedom for me is never for the weak of will, anyway those kinds of people never have freedom anyway since they are the type of person that does whatever the masses is doing. That for me is the worst choice one can make. Doing something just because other people are doing it. For me it just doesn’t make sense and probably never will.
Anyway this is already pretty long. About 1 out of 15 people who will look at this would even read this till the end so ill end this article with this. The greatest freedom one can have is in serving the greater good. Anyway goodbye all.
"We can never be truly free unless we give others the same freedom we would want to have for ourselves."
Edmund Falgui
PS I know its a bit vain for me to quote one of my papers but thats what i am, vain and narcissistic. But i would like to believe i am also a good person after alls been said and done. ;)
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| Top 10 Turn Ons. |
| 04.03.04 (1:46 am) [edit] |
Things that attract me to a person. :P
By Edmund Falgui
Im a very choosy person. i know what i want but i can adapt. Now here are what im mostly looking for in a person, as the title says my turn ons.(what turns me on about other people.)
1. Attractiveness: what else is the first thing we see about a person. this is what makes me want to get to know a person.
2. Intelligence: If the person turns out to be a total bonehead, well maybe id go out with her for a few weeks. the relationship wont last though. i want a person who can stimulate my mind as well as my sexual urges. ;)
3. Well Read: i love reading. its one of my passions, a good book for me is worth its weight in gold. i want a woman whom i can discuss things with, things that i have read.
4. Loves to travel: i make it a point to go around the country by myself or with a couple of friends from time to time. i want a girl that has no problem with us traveling to places that i havent been yet.
5. Funny and happy-go-lucky: i cant stand people who cant have fun.
6. Is not afraid to show affection: Speaks for itself. :)
7. A good speaker: able to hold her side of the arguments we are likely to have. :D
8. Caring: i want someone who would care for me as much as i do her.
9. Strong: i dunno, i just like people who has a strong personality.
10. A good dancer: if she knows how to dance then we will really get along. (any kind of dance...even lap dances. :D J/K)
of course im not saying that she has to be all these, if she has a couple of these then we would probably get along well. there are a few more but im starting to see things in double. I NEED SLEEP. (5:30 am) G'night All!!!
bonus number:
11 Great In Bed: Duh it Speaks for itself!!! (hmm... should know at least 3 position in the kama sutra :)
All these i found in Anne. Lucky me huh. ;)
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| Easy ways to annoy people. |
| 04.02.04 (6:11 am) [edit] |
Annoy People
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1. Pay tolls with $100 bills
2. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the parking lot
3. Eat produce at the market; don't buy it
4. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two
5. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April
6. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons
7. Knock and ask "How is it going?" to someone constipated in a public bathroom stall.
8. Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines
9. Announce when you're going to the bathroom
10. Chew other people's pencils
11. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
12. Wear large hats during the movies
13. Touch strangers
14. Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus
15. Bite your dentist's finger
16. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
18. Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads
19. Don't stand during hymns and anthems
20. Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa
21. Tell people they have bad breath
22. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
23. Flirt with a friend's spouse
24. Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team
25. Shake with your left hand
26. Use the quote bunnies after every other word you say when talking to someone.
27. Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
28. Drum on every available surface.
29. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
30. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
31. Honk and wave to strangers.
32. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
33. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
34. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
35. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
36. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
37. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
38. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
39. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
40. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
41. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Annoy Cops
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42. Say out loud when he/she approaches you "You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?"
43. Ask to see his gun.
44. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
45. Say out loud "Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!"
46. Slap his hand and say "Bad cop! No donut!"
47. When he frisks you, say "You missed a spot", and grin.
48. After every other sentence oink like a pig quietly to yourself but loud enough for him to hear you.
49. Refer to him by his first name.
50. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.
Annoy Your roomate
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51. Smoke weed. Do whatever comes naturally.
52. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.
53. Twitch a lot when you guys eat dinner.
54. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.
55. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
56. Ask him/her to do you a favor and get you a drink, then when they bring it, slowly pour it on the floor.
57. Clip your toenails while watching a movie or eating dinner.
58. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
59. Speak in tongues.
60. Move you roommate's personal effects around. Start subtlely. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.
61. Walk and talk backwards.
62. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them.
63. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."
64. Recite entire movie scripts (e.g."The Road Warrior," "Repo Man," Casablanca,") almost inaudibly.
65. Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias on a kazoo. If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your performance at art class (or hit him/her with the wrench).
66. Collect all your urine in a small jug.
67. Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring you food.
68. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.
69. Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks."
70. Buy as many back issues of Field and Stream as you can. Pretend to masturbate while reading them.
71. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.
72. Eat glass.
73. Smoke ballpoint pens.
74. Smile. All the time.
75. Collect dog shit in baby food jars. Sort them according to what you think the dog ate.
76. Burn all your waste paper while eying your roommate suspiciously.
77. Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can.
When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.
78. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances.
79. Paste snot on the windows in occult patterns.
80. Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.
81. Dye all your underwear lime green.
82. Spill a lot of beer on his/her bed. Swim.
83. Bye three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet.
84. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.
85. Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due).
86. Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster. Sacrifice something nasty.
87. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up.
Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
88. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them.
89. Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley.
90. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with "Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative.
91. Shave one eyebrow.
92. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.
93. Put horseradish in your shoes.
94. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.
95. Always flush the toilet three times.
96. Subsist entirely on pickles for a week. Vomit often.
97. Buy a copy of Frankie Yankovic's "Pennsylvania Polka," and play it at least 6 hours a day. If your roommate complains, explain that it's an assignment for your primitive cultures class.
98. Give him/her an allowance.
99. Listen to radio static.
100. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.
101. Wear sunglasses at night. Bump into things often. Swear loudly.
Annoy your examiner during a Driver's Test
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102. Turn the radio on. When the testor goes to turn it off slap his/her hand.
103. Beep your horn at everything.
104. When you stop at a light, start revving the engine while looking back and forth between the person next to you and the light
105. Get in the car, look down at the pedals, and say, "now which one is the gas again?"
106. After the examiner gets in the car, pop the hood, and get out and check the oil.
107. Fill your car with beer bottles.
108. The whole time driving, talk about how Aunt Gertrude smells like mothballs.
109. In the middle of driving, put your arm around the examiner.
110. Swear at everybody on the road.
111. Break off your rear-view mirror and then ask the examiner to hold it up.
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| Guess What I Found At The Beach. |
| 04.02.04 (5:32 am) [edit] |
I just finished dinner over here. Crabs Tuna and fried chicken among other things. i went around for a smoke while Anne was taking a bath in our room. As i was walking i heard shout and gunfire behind one of the doors near the entrance to the resort we were staying in, at first i though someone was just watching tv until i heard a voice shout out DIE You Damned Terrorist bastards!!! after a second or so i heard a reply saying "fuck off asshole!!! im gonna save my last snipe for you." as i heard this i realized that i was hearing, they were plaing counter-strike. after knocking i entered the room and to my suprise i saw my 2 friends and the younger son of the owner of the resort inside. turns out that the resort wasnt the only business they had they also had a computer rental store (cyber-cafe). anyway all this happened yesterday a couple of hours after we arrived. well see you guys later me and my girl are going night swimming. hope you people are having as fun a summer as i am.
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| Sleep!!! I need some fucking sleep,an hour or two at most... then im off to the beach!!! |
| 03.31.04 (12:58 pm) [edit] |
wow cant believe thats its already about quarter to 5 in the morning. i have just finished reading the newest book of terry goodkind. it just keeps on getting better and better.
anyway im off to sleep now. still have to wake up in an hour or so to pack my things, coz im headed to the beach with my girl in about 7 hours. i probably wont be able to post anything in 3 days so bye all.
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| Want to get to know me? Read this. |
| 03.31.04 (6:25 am) [edit] |
All About Me…
Personal
Name: Edmund Falgui
Home Address: 25 __ ___ Quezon city
Last four numbers of your phone: 88 16
Today’s Date:Jan 2004
Place of Birth:Quezon city
Date of Birth:Aug 15 1981
Astrological Sign: Leo
Profession: B.A.T.M.
Education:College Level
Height:5'10"
Weight:230
Hair Color:Dark Brown
Eye Color:Brown
Distinguishing Marks: I got a helluva lot of moles
Blood Type: o
Allergies:none
Historical
Mothers First Name:Ma. Teodorica
Fathers First Name:Edmundo
Siblings’ Names:Roselle, Francesca, Kimberly, Nicole
Family Comes From:Philippines
Famous Relatives/Ancestors: My great grandfather
Favorites
Favorite Color:Red
Dream Pet (regardless of size or circumstance e.g. unicorn, whale, Dragon): Drake
A Flower You Would Like To Grow In Your House: tulips
Lucky Number:13
A Smell That Makes You Pause: Shitty smells
A Taste That Makes You Melt:chocolate
A Hobby That Occupies Your Time: reading
A Sport That You Enjoy Watching: all extreme sports
A Sport That You Enjoy Playing: Arnis
A City You Would Love To Visit: Athens
A Country You’d Like To Explore:Egypt
Your Favorite Meal: Adobo
A Drink You Often Order: San Mig Light
A delicious Dessert:Blueberry cheesecake
A Game You Like To Play: all kinds
A Book You Strongly recommend: the alchemist
Author Who has Affected You:Piers Anthony
The Magazine You Read Mostly: Maxim
Music You Prefer To Listen To Alone: jazz
Singer Or Band You like: Gin blossoms
Film You Would Watch over and over and…: The Wash
A Director You Admire:stanley kubrick
Favorite Actress: Maggie Q
Favorite Actor:Edison Chen, Robert De Niro
TV Show You Watch Regularly:Simpsons
An Artist You Highly Respect:Van Gogh
Favorite Work of Art:Starry Night
Favorite Piece of Clothing: T shirt
A Monument You’d Like to Have a View From Your Bedroom: Pyramids of egypt
Favorite Time of the Day:Late night
Favorite Place to Sit at Home:At my Chair
What Are You Most Likely to be Doing on a Sunday: reading/sleeping
Your Motto: Whats the use of fearing death when its as natural as breathing
Other Stuff
Your Pet: Dog (pepper= : dachshund)
You live in a:House
When you Sleep you wear: Shorts
Something on your night table:A book
If you had A safe, what would you put inside:
My money and my books
If you could afford it what would you buy right now: A private jet
You collect: Books , CD's and other shit=P
You have a lot of: Books
Strangest possession: severed head =)
Most expensive possession: Severed head
Your prized possession: Severed Head
If your house was burning and you had time to rescue three things they would be:
1.books
2.Dvd
3.cd collection
Morals
Worst thing that you have done to someone:....
People should not marry before this age:25
People should not have children before this age:27
The appropriate age for having sex:16 or 17
Your most recent lie:a few hours ago
When you are late and its your fault you:
(O) Tell a white lie () Tell the truth
A lie you tell yourself:Im not a bookworm =)
Something that you stolen that was not worth the risk: not really sure about this all ive stolen pretty much served me well =D
A person you have killed in your thoughts: 1/10 of the people whom ive met?!?!
One person you might kill if you thought the law would protect you: Saddam
One thing in the world youre addicted to:Chatting
A drug or alcoholic beverage you have taken on a regular basis: San Mig Lights
If there were no side effects you would enjoy being addicted to:
Everything =)
Drugs you have tried in the past: e, hashish, pot
A drug you would never try:anthing else
A drug you would never try again: e
You believe hitting a child is an appropriate form of punishment:
(O) yes () no
Have you ever been arrested: nope
What for:
Beliefs
Do you believe in God: yes
Describe God: First Cause
What religion were you raised with?: Christainity
Do you still practice:sometimes
Last time you were in a house of worship: last year
Death is: a natural part of life, so why be afraid.
How do you picture the end of the world:A big explosion which would destroy everything in a single heartbeat
God has spoken to you? =): nope
What did he say? =):
Do you feel most wars are started because of religions: yes
Does life exist on other planets: yes
Have they made contact with us: umm dont have any idea
Are you a decendant of Adam and Eve:yes
Do you belive in evolution:yes
Do you believe in astrology:
nope
Do you read your horoscope: yes
If yes, Why? : for fun, curiousity
Have you ever been treated by a psychotherapist: yes
If yes, Why? : my bad temper as a child =D
Do you believe in reincarnation: nope
If reincarnation exists, you would like to come back as a: wolf or a dolphin or a worm *shrugs*
Three’s
Your three best Qualities:
1. Intelligent
2.confident
3.trustworthy
Your three worst qualities:
1.Pride
2.Vanity
3.I will do anything as long as i get the results i want
Three words that others use to describe you:
1. Dependable
2.Trustworthy
3.Freak
Three traits you look for in a friend:
1.funny
2.intelligent
3.tough
Three qualities your ideal man or woman should posses:
1.intelligent conversationalist
2.beautiful
3.fun
Three qualities your ideal relationship shoud have:
1.Fun
2.commitment
3.Sex
Three people who you consider to be geniuses:
1.Shakespeare
2. Van Gogh
3. Einstein
Three best inventions ever:
1. The wheel
2. radio
3. Tv
Three favorite childhood toys or games:
1.Lego
2.Hide and seek
3. tag
Three things you would never do:
1. betray a friend
2. backstab a friend
3. Kill a friend
Three things you regret:
1. Ever since i had anne by my side i have lost all my regrets.
2.
3.
Wishes and desires
Your dream: About having a quiet life in the german countryside
Your Hope: That someday my dream will come true
If you had the talent and opportunity you would: start a band =)
Something you wish you could learn with a snap of your finger: learn all kinds of musical instruments
Something you wish to change about your life: id like to have a condo of my own
Something you wish to change about yourself:
i would like to be more ordered
Sexual fantasies you wish already have happened to you:Threesome(2 girls and me)
You wish you were
Born to a different race: () yes (O) no
Born to a different religion: () yes (O) no
Born as the opposite sex: () yes (O) no
Someones diary you would wish to read: hitler
Want to retire at this age:
65
How do you plan to spend the last years of your life: at a beach house at brazil
How about the last minutes of you life: =) Sex
For your last dinner, whom would you invite (dead or alive/ 5 only):
1. Mom
2.Dad
3.Machiavelli
4.Nietzsche
5. JFK
Last Meal: All you can eat buffet =D
Emotions
A moment you achieved absolute happiness: none
You have a great amount of guilt regarding:...
A song that makes you sentimental: anything by james taylor
It reminds you of: happier times
When you are happy, you need: nothing
When you are sad, you need: friends and family
When you are angry, you need: to punch something
When you are lonely, you need: to be alone
You would jump up and down and shout with joy if: Fernando poe Jr doesnt win the election for 2004
Last time you were very angry was when: me and my friend fought
Last time you cried: a few months back
Someone who made you genuinely happy: all my friends make me happy
Something that makes you happy: my dog
Write the colors that match the following emotions for you:
Fear: White Love:sky blue
Happiness:yellow Sadness:brown
Anger:red Guilt gold
Jealousy:green Loneliness: gray
Choices
Sunrise or sunset: sunset Open or close:open
Sweet or sour:sour Bath or Shower:shower
Sahara or Himalaya: sahara Square or circle:circle
Dolphin or eagle:eagle Fire or water:fire
Old or new:old lightning or thunder:lightning
Coke or pepsi: coke Ocean or forest: forest
Hot or cold: cold black or white: black
Day or night: night Yesterday or tomorrow:tomorrow
Red or blue: red Dogs or cats: dogs
Even or odd: odd Beatles or elvis: elvis
Woman or man:woman Sun or moon:sun
New York or Paris:paris Silver or Gold: silver
Fears
Things you fear:failure
Your greatest fear:failure
Greatest fear about marriage: failure
Put a circle before the answer you choose:
Pet a snake:
OI did I would I wont
Spend a week on an empty room:
OI did I would I wont
Kill an animal (fish birds and insects not included)
OI did I would I wont
Sing in front of a huge audience:
OI did I would I wont
Scuba dive:
OI did I would I wont
Sit in the front of a roller coaster:
OI did I would I wont
Deliver a baby:
I did I would OI wont
Swim across the amazon:
I did I would OI wont
Switch careers:
OI did I would I wont
Disappear for a long time:
OI did I would I wont
Walk through a forest alone:
OI did I would I wont
Join a space mission:
I did OI would I wont
Tell someone what you honestly think of him or her:
OI did I would I wont
Call of your wedding:
I did OI would I wont
Walk naked through a crowded city for ten minutes:
I did I would OI wont
Some other shit =P
Your name spelled backwards is:Odnumde
Write your first names and last names initials below:
Your first initial:E
Your last initial:F
Now quickly think of five word that begings with each initial:
First: Last:
1.Endure 1.fast
2.emotion 2.flight
3.elegant 3.flaw
4.emperor 4.flash
5.error 5.fuck
First time you discovered power!! : D i always had it, i just dont like to use it
Choose one existing book or move title that describes you the most:Rebel Without a Cause
Choose one existing book or move title that defines your life: The Sound and the Fury
Your hero: there are a lot Homer Simpson and Roland of Gilead
are one of them, real people: my grampa and great grandfather.
Last person you said I love you to: my niece
Write a question you would ask yourself, answer it too =) :
Why does the world exist: the world exist so i could be born in it
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| Things To Do When You Are Bored. |
| 03.31.04 (5:50 am) [edit] |
Has cable TV let you down once again? Heres a few suggestions for you.
Someone once wrote something to the effect that only boring people get bored. We here at Maxim find this statement not only, well, boring, but also patently untrue. Sure, the world is filled with interesting people to meet, great literature to read, fascinating places to visit, and challenging work to do, but that’s just not good enough, is it? The fact is, everyone finds themselves bored to death at some point in their lives: kings, rock stars, monster-truck drivers, pianny players at Old West theme parks, Oscar-winning actors, the guys who come up with new Slurpee flavors—even supermodels (and remember, they can look at themselves naked anytime they want).
The solution? Get a hobby.
Hahahahaha! Seriously, here’s what to do: Whenever ennui has you by the short ones, choose an activity from among the following, perform it immediately, and watch that world-weary little frown turn upside down!
In a crowded bar, casually observe the televised weather forecast. When they show the high- and low-pressure systems working their way across the country, start shaking, stand up, point to the screen, and shriek, “Run for your lives! There’s a giant H about to land on the city!” Flee the bar.
Invent an imaginary friend. Call her Heidi. Let nature take its course.
In the middle of the night, noisily bury a fully dressed mannequin in your backyard. Arrange lawn furniture on the fresh mound and sit down in it quickly when the police arrive.
Confide with weary resignation to a stranger, “My blessing, my curse, is an ability to see farts before others can hear or smell them.” Pause, then, eyes wide, focus on a nearby butt and shout, “Incoming!” Pull the startled stranger to the floor.
Attend an AA meeting. When you’re called on, say, “Well, I personally don’t have any trouble holding my booze. But the last time my car broke down, it took forever to get a tow truck! I mean, what are we paying dues for, if that’s the kind of service we get?”
On a busy street corner, set up a table on which is a heavy jar half full of change. Put up a sign that says if you need change, take some. if you can afford to help the homeless, give some. Make sure the mouth of the jar is slightly too small for a hand to fit into.
Put on a white smock and find a ruler and a clipboard. Go to a mall and spend the afternoon asking strangers to let you measure parts of them.
Learn the words to at least one hard-core gangsta rap song. Change the melody to that of an Irish folk ballad and sing it under your breath in a crowded elevator.
Print official-looking contracts that say: i, the undersigned, agree to sell my soul to the devil. Offer people $10 to sign them. If no one will sign an official-looking contract, present them with one in crayon.
Go down to the street and invite strangers over to your place to see your butter carvings of the Virgin Mary. Scream when you find a plate of melted butter on the stovetop. Begin weeping and softly begging the ceiling for forgiveness.
Call a library telephone reference service and beg them to help you figure out how many heads it would take to fill Yankee Stadium. When you’ve found someone game enough to do it, and they’ve done their laborious calculations, say, “Thank you. Now, that is in rabbit heads, isn’t it?”
Commit a crime, then go to the police station and volunteer to stand in criminal lineups. Even if your victim picks you out, you get off scot-free!
Starve your cat for three days. Put its bowl in the middle of the kitchen floor, and around it paint successively larger circles marked 5, 10, 15, and 25. See how far the hungry beast can push its little dish.
Go to a local school and say you need to see your son, John Smith. When they send in some confused child, explode at the school secretary, saying, “What have you monsters done with my son? When my lawyer gets through with you, I’ll own Brown Elementary School!” When someone tells you you’re in the wrong school, look confused, pretend to become a chicken, and flap out of the building, squawking.
Spend 10 minutes talking directly into a corner mailbox. Be sure people hear you apologizing profusely, promising to be good from now on, and calling the box “Babycakes.”
Get a Medic Alert bracelet that reads frequently requires oral-genital resuscitation. Then go to a hospital and pass out in front of a cute nurse.
Wear a cheese head constantly for an entire week. Whenever someone comes up and says, “Go, Packers!” look at him like you don’t know what the hell he’s talking about.
Get an expensive pearl-inlaid, two-piece pool cue and head down to the poolroom, dressed like a pimp. Act cocky and ridicule every shot made by the reigning champ. When he challenges you, say, “You’re on, asshole!” Spend the next 15 minutes perplexedly trying to figure out how to connect the two pieces, then make up a stupid excuse and run away.
Purchase a shopping cart full of groceries, and when the bagger asks, “Paper or plastic?” see how long you can hold up the line making up your mind. Then get flustered and try to carry the whole cartful in your arms.
Tail a stranger for two hours while discreetly talking into the flower on your lapel.
Go to a hospital. When a surgeon comes out of a successful transplant procedure, pour a big bucket of icy Gatorade over his head.
In the bathroom at work, utter loud, pain-racked screams that carry from your stall clear to your coworkers’ desks. Emerge from the john holding a large hen’s egg. Leave it sitting on your desk all day, then take it home and hard-boil it. Eat it in front of everyone the next day. Repeat until fired.
Wear an eye patch to a hit comedy movie. In the middle of a huge laugh, whip a large marble at the screen while shrieking, “My glass eye! Help! My glass eye popped out!” After they stop the movie and some do-gooder retrieves the marble for you, peer at it with your “one” eye and say, “That’s a marble, you idiot.”
Try to wear a suit of armor through a metal detector.
Fill an inflate-a-date with helium and release it at rush hour on a windy day. Chase it down the street, yelling, “Come back here, you tramp!”
Ask strangers if they have change for a nickel.
Show up at a DNA paternity testing service. (They’re listed in the yellow pages.) Insist on confidentiality; they’ll reassure you. Bring a blood sample from the family pet.
Get a video camera and microphone and chase a local TV news crew around. Interrupt on-the-scene shots by shouting questions like “Who’s your favorite Beatle?”
Go to the lost and found of your city’s mass transit system. Dig out and claim stuff like false teeth and artificial limbs. Proceed to a public swimming pool or fountain and toss them in.
Call National Acme Company. Ask if they have any products you could use to kill a roadrunner.
Fly around the world with one of those big foam rubber we’re #1! hands and have pictures taken of you using it to pick the noses of the Sphinx, Michelangelo’s David, Jefferson on Mount Rushmore, etc.
At an art museum, pretend to be blind (big dark glasses, long white cane) and fondle all the sculptures. Tilt your head quizzically whenever you touch marble genitalia, then give a cry of delighted surprise.
Train all the squirrels in the park to do your fiendish bidding.
Set a Slinky “walking” down an up escalator in any large department store.
Start signing all your checks and official documents with a shaky-looking X. See if it makes any difference at all.
Have bright green eyes tattooed on your eyelids.
Get one of those bobble-head dolls and construct a little neck brace for it.
Trace your hand with middle finger raised 15 times on a piece of cardboard and cut out the hands. Leave them lying all over your body while you tan at the beach. Remove them, wait 15 minutes, walk down the beach, look at yourself, and shout, “Oh, no…not again!”
See how many miles your car will go with the gas gauge on E. Then do it again, only this time remember to bring a gas can.
Drink a serving of Gainers Fuel 2,500 weight enhancer and a can of Ultra Slim-Fast and let them duke it out in your intestines.
Trim the moldy bottom edge of your shower curtain with a weedwacker.
Before your next party, squeeze little balls of toothpaste onto a silver dish; let them dry and tell guests they’re homemade after-dinner mints.
Wash out a gas can and punch a hole in it, then fill it with water and carry it down a busy lunch-hour sidewalk while smoking the biggest cigar you can find.
Rush yourself to the ER and explain to the night nurse you were resting on your leg for a long time and now it feels like pins and needles. Ask if they’ll have to amputate.
Go to a planetarium. Wait until the presentation is halfway through, stand up, and shout, “No! No! They’ve got it all wrong. That’s not how I did it at all!”
Learn how to play the opening bars of “Piano Man” on the harmonica. Play them over and over at your desk at work, as if struggling to get them just right.
Go to the local police station and tell the desk officer that a dog told you bad things were going to happen today and they should be prepared.
Rearrange the letters on the marquee outside an elementary school so they spell we eat children!
Vote for a pro wrestler for governor.
BE PREPARED
Boredom can strike anywhere, anytime. Here’s what to do.
On the bus: Before sitting down, place a newspaper on the seat. At least once a minute, stand up and turn a page. Sit down again.
In the mall: Stop by Victoria’s Secret and ask to see “something frilly, playful, girlish, you know? But something with the kind of access that allows for instant passion.” When the clerk finds you a real heartstopper, thank her and say, “Now, which way to your fitting rooms?”
On a tour of Pennsylvania Dutch country: Ask an Amish man for his autograph. If he refuses, say, “But aren’t you that guy from ZZ Top?” When he says no, say, “Never mind…there he is” and head for another Amish man.
At the zoo: Stand outside the polar bear enclosure and shout, “C’mon, Larry, enough’s enough! Take off that costume and come back to the office.”
During a church bingo evening: Shout “Pingo!” or “Dingo!” at an arbitrary point in each game. When the other players get mad, patiently explain that it’s really their mistake.
At the airport: When boarding the plane, confide to the captain that you’re a former air force pilot and it’s been years since you sat in a cockpit. If he lets you take the chair, make extremely loud, childish vroom-vroom noises until he throws you out.
While baby-sitting: Teach the little tyke to play chess, then beat him mercilessly over and over. Don’t forget to taunt.
At the bookstore: Write your name and phone number inside any books labeled erotica for women.
At Burger King: When you get up to the counter, ask for directions to another Burger King. Smile vacantly when they try to explain that all Burger Kings serve the same food. Then insist on those directions again.
In the bathroom: Shave your sideburns so they form quotation marks.
FUN WITH PHONES
For a good time, call the following—and keep calling.
Yeah, yeah, we know: The Telephone Is Not a Toy. On the other hand, it’s a damned easy way to amuse yourself when you’re too bored to get up off your ass, put on clothes that match, and find something useful to do. So get that index finger limbered up!
* Call an escort service and ask for two hours with the best girl; make it clear that if there’s time left over, you want her to spend it cleaning your bathroom. If they say their girls don’t do that, start a philosophical argument about why a girl who’d have sex for money would feel that scrubbing a toilet is beneath her.
* Call a tobacconist and say, “Hi. This is Prince Albert. Any calls for me while I was in the can?”
* Call an undertaker and ask, “Hypothetically, how long could a body buried in a basement go undetected before neighbors picked up the stink?”
* Call the Q-Tips 800 number and say that one of the cotton swab parts just came off in your ear. When they reply, keep shouting, “What? What?! What did you say?”
* Call a newspaper or magazine’s personal ad department and leave messages for women who say they’re looking for “generous” or “financially stable” men. Explain in a British accent that you are a wealthy investor with a slight heart condition and a private jet, and that you’re in search of a traveling companion. Leave the phone number of a local homeless shelter or mental hospital.
* Call your high school English teacher, now in her 70s, and confess that you’ve burned with desire for her since you were 15 and want to start a phone sex relationship. If she says no, say, “Well, would you know the number for Mr. Pyle, the wood shop teacher?”
* Call a crime hotline and tell the cops you saw your neighbor wearing a T-shirt that reads property of new york mets.
* Call a poison control center. Say you just ate a whole container of Tic Tacs and you feel “all minty” inside.
* Call the fencing coach at a major university. Ask what’s best for keeping your beagle in the yard.
* Call an addiction hotline and explain that you’re hooked on phonics.
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| Kissing. Who Can Ever Live Without It? |
| 03.30.04 (6:55 am) [edit] |
How did kisses come into being? When did us humans get lucky enough to know about kissing? There are a lot or reasons for a person to kiss someone. There is attraction, love, lust, affection, pleasure and a whole lot more. But the thing is why did the kiss become so popular? There are two sides as to how kissing started one is that it is a natural part of life, another one is that it is something cultural.
Well I am for the natural side myself. For me it’s a natural action. For one reason it’s very pleasurable. If there is a culture where kissing doesn’t exist I would truly feel sorry for the people there. There are many kinds of kisses. A peck to the cheek, a quick kiss on the lips and the full kiss with the use of tongues and a couple dozen more. For me a kiss will always be a natural thing. it is truly one of the best ways to show someone that you care and love them.
Life would be unatural if kissing ever goes out of style, though i doubt that this would ever happen. Kissing has already been too useful a tool for showing affection that to leave this custom behind would probably destroy our culture when it is gone. It is something that people would never be able to live without, Or at least something I could never live without. ;)
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| B | Best | | O | Orderly | | O | Omnipotent | | G | Gorgeous | | E | Explosive | | R | Refreshing | | S | Smart | | C | Cranky | | H | Huge | | N | Nifty | | O | Organic | | T | Talented |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
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